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A Step-By-Step
Guide To Having Great Sex
To have great sex, start by sitting on your bed face
to face with your partner (Hint: Clean linen is
always an added bonus!). Sit in a comfortable
position. With you and you partner's eyes closed,
take 4 deep breaths. During your next 4 deep breaths
you and your partner will look into each others
eyes. Once you have finished, while looking into
each others eyes and take another 4 deep breaths.
Without words, spend the next ten minutes taking
turns using just your eyes to communicate thoughts
with each other. Try communicating embarrassment,
support, sexual arousal, love, and respect. When you
are done, while maintaining the face to face sitting
position, finish the following statements (out
loud):
1) The most difficult part of this assignment so far
has been. . . .
2) The easiest part of this assignment so far has
been . . .
3) I felt awkward when . . .
4) I felt most connected to you when . . .
5) You turned me on the most when . . .
6) In the next week, I would like to try . . .
again.
Next, have Partner A (that's you) take Partner B's
hand and place it somewhere on your own body.
Partner A (you) should then guide Partner B's hand
to where and how you like to be touched on your
body. For some people this may mean deep massaging
the inner legs, for others it might look like light
touches on the elbow, or soft, big circles around
the breasts. Do not forget your toes, your armpits,
or the back of your ears. Make sure that you spend
particular time in the areas that you find most
stimulating. It is to each of your benefits to not
miss an inch of your body. Right now you are
teaching each other how you like to be touched.
Touch can be rough and hard, or soft and light. In
all reality, it can be anyway you like! All you have
to do is ask (but without words in this
assignment!). Then switch roles. Have Partner B
guide Partner A's hand and have fun! The best part
about this assignment is that no matter which role
you are in, there is plenty of body touch and
exploration. Through slow touch, sexual excitement
tends to build!
Next, answer the following 9 questions. However, to
do so, Partner A should place their hand on Partner
B's genitals, and Partner B should place their hand
on Partner A's genitals.
7) The most difficult part of being a guider was. .
. .
8) The easiest part of being a guider was . . .
9) The most difficult part of being a giver was . .
.
10) The easiest part of being a giver was . . .
11) What did you learn about your partner's body?
(is this really what your partner wanted you to
learn? Please respond)
12) I felt awkward when . . .
13) I felt most connected to you when . .
14) You turned me on the most when . . .
15) In the next week, I would like to try . . .
again.
Take 4 more deep breaths and really allow yourself
to connect with one another again. Now, using your
new knowledge, take turns touching each other. Focus
on the 'techniques' and 'areas' that your partner
just taught you. Staying focused on each other, move
closer together and embrace each other. Allow your
lips to connect. While holding each other, lie down
on the bed. While still in this embrace, begin to
give the other person a sensual massage. This
massage should start with the head, and end by
slipping your partners toes into your mouth and
sucking on them. Toe are one of the most highly
sensitive parts of the body (this may be because
they are so often neglected, thus when you do
stimulate them, people reconnect with their bodies
in whole knew ways - try it, then decide if you like
it).
Rest for a day
Next day, once again start by sitting face-to-face
with your partner. The two of you should be
completely nude. Take the next 30 seconds and look
deep into your partner's eyes. Once you feel
connected to your partner, squeeze his or her hands.
Likewise, when your partner feels comfortable with
you he or she will squeeze your hands. Once each of
you have squeezed the other person's hand the
receiver (Partner A) will lay them self down on the
bed, stomach up. Meanwhile, Partner B (that is you)
will set a timer to go off in a half an hour.
Your mission (Partner B), for the next half an hour
is to play with your partner's genitals. The purpose
of this "play," contrary to popular myth is not to
bring your partner to orgasm, but rather to merely
stimulate. Again, contrary to myth the focus of this
exercise is not pleasuring your partner, but rather
designed for you to experiment with what types of
"play" you enjoy on your partner's body. Note,
Partner A does not like the form of touch, Partner A
must share this. Other than that, Partner A should
give NO feedback. This play time is for you. If
Partner A gets enjoyment out of the stimulation than
it is an added bonus, but not the goal.
Then switch roles. Repeat.
Next, answer the following 9 questions. However, to
do so, Partner A should place their hand on Partner
B's toes, and Partner B should place their hand on
Partner A's toes.
1) The most difficult part of being a receiver was.
. . .
2) The easiest part of being a receiver was . . .
3) The most difficult part of being a giver was . .
.
4) The easiest part of being a giver was . . .
5) What did you learn about your interaction with
your
partner's body?
6) I felt awkward when . . .
7) I felt most connected to you when . .
8) You turned me on the most when . . .
9) In the next week, I would like to try . . .
again.
Stop... go to sleep... or have dinner.....or.... (in
other words your session is over for the
day/evening)
Tomorrow, have Partner A (that's you) take Partner
B's hand and place it under genitals. Partner A
(you) should then guide Partner B's hand to where
and how you like to be touched on your genitals. For
some people this may mean deep massaging, while for
others it might look like light touches on the tip
of the clitoris. In some respects, the you are
teaching your partner how you like to masturbate. In
other respects though, you are simply showing your
partner ways that you find enjoyable for him or her
to touch you. Again, the goal is stimulation, not
orgasm. After a half an hour of this, switch roles.
Next, answer the following 9 questions. However, to
do so, Partner A should place their hand on Partner
B's toes, and Partner B should place their hand on
Partner A's toes.
1) The most difficult part of being a receiver was.
. . .
2) The easiest part of being a receiver was . . .
3) The most difficult part of being a giver was . .
.
4) The easiest part of being a giver was . . .
5) What did you learn about your interaction with
your partner's body?
6) I felt awkward when . . .
7) I felt most connected to you when . .
8) You turned me on the most when . . .
9) In the next week, I would like to try . . .
again.
Then have sex - it is guaranteed to be good now that
you both know so well how to touch and please your
partner.
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